November 20th, 2007

shawn sheikhanIn what can only be described as the biggest tease since that time you thought that stripper was coming home with you, immigration officials have ended deportation proceedings against professional poker player/jackass Shawn Sheikhan. This means that contrary to previous reports, Sheikhan (at least for now) will not be returned to Iran where he can’t annoy us.

The attempts to rid North America of Sheikhan were based on a 1995 conviction involving charges of sexual battery and annoyance or molestation of a child. However, the U.S. Immigration Court Judge stated that the U.S. Department of Homeland Security hadn’t supplied the court with adequate documentation about the California conviction for it to be determined that a deportable offense had taken place.

As if being a douchebag wasn’t enough, Sheikhan served nine months in the clink followed by five years of probation for the 1995 conviction. However, Sheikhan has always maintained his innocence of these charges O.J.-style. These facts alone should be enough to ship Sheikhan out, air-mail.

The Department of Homeland Security has until December 17 to appeal the ruling and resume efforts of deportation, but we’d settle for just keeping him off of television where he can’t bother us. Or at least keeping him away from school playgrounds.

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